Welcome to the Jungle

Ok, I admit it, it was a madhouse.

As we entered Subjective Family Fun Center today, my friend Barb asked me if I felt a little unsettled by the chaos all around us. I'd never been to a "family fun center" or "soft amusement park" or "indoor amusement center" with Spencer before, and I didn't want to feel intimidated right out of the gate, so I said no, that yeah it was wild, but it didn't have any effect on me really.

As it became more and more necessary to yell to one another as if we were in a bar, I started to wonder a little. As we were nearly run over by frantic parents chasing their candy-and-pizza-wired kids, I wondered a little more. As it became more and more apparent that parents go to these places to let their kids run wild like beasts; all over my son and my friends' toddlers, I was getting downright flabbergasted.

I spent half my time there parenting OPP (other people's progeny), trying to keep them from jumping on top of Spencer, who was happily flumfing around in what amounted to a box full of balls. The other half I spent trying to find my friends who were busy chasing their little ones around, or reassuring them after they'd been attacked by "wildekids". At one point I became indignant enough to approach the front desk and inquire assertively about the policy for monitoring the "Toddlers Only" area, since over half the jumping monkeys in there were at least 5. A disgruntled looking adolescent wearing her requisite staff t-shirt would patrol the area, a bit like the way the late night security shift does at your local 24 hour supermarket.

It appears today has taken its toll on me starting 5 minutes ago. I am falling asleep as I type this. More elaboration on the decline of civiliation when I return.