Hair-brained Schemes

I wanted to post Friday night, but I was exhausted from my travails.
You see, when one highlights one's own hair, one is responsible for reaching areas of the head that require the kind of dexterity reserved for yoga gurus.

I want to show you a picture of how I looked at 10:30 p.m. Friday night.
Here's a sketch of what I had on my head:

Nice, eh? I can't tell you how contorted I was. We have a dressing room which is populated by 3 giant Ikea closets with full length mirrored doors. I stood with my back to one mirror while reaching around behind my head - these caps have holes all over the head, all the way in back. Everywhere. Without help, it's a pretty intense amount of work. I felt I was up to the challenge. I am a MOM now, afterall. What can't I do?

I'll tell you what I can't do. I can't do that again. I think I spent 90 minutes just pulling strands of my hair through that cap. I learned how to work using both hands, and backwards in the mirror. It's a lot like crossing your eyes too long and putting one arm over your shoulder and the other up behind and trying to touch fingers behind your back...and then standing that way for 90 minutes. I do believe by the end, I was hallucinating. The most torturous part is knowing that you still have to mix the creme, put it on your hair and sit around like a chemical accident for 30-60 minutes while it strips the color from your follicles.

I took a break after the plucking all these pieces of hair and checked to see what Guy was up to. Also, I had to sit, because I felt like I'd been strapped between two boards for a whole day. It was like I could barely stand anymore. I descended the stairs and when he saw me, he laughed and laughed. Ladies, it was then that I realized how stupid we all are. There I was looking hideous with my little plastic bonnet with my hair sticking out of holes like little seedlings. I spent a decent chunk of precious "me" or "us" time, creating this "look" in order to make myself look prettier. I had to explain to Guy that it was the sacrifice women have to go through...he was still laughing at how I looked in my bonnet.

I got him to help me wrap the rest of my hair in tin foil (more confusion resulted from this. I had to explain why tin foil and not a towel) and then Spencer started his 10:30 crying jag from the crib. Guy went to him, so I finished the whole dye job myself.

It looks great for someone who's no professional. At least, I'm happy with it.

Spencer just smiled alot today, I don't know if he noticed. He did try to grab my hair a little more than usual. I wonder if he was checking for damage.

Oh, for the record, I haven't actually gone anywhere since Friday. We got a good ole' blizzardy storm Saturday into today, so the only time I spent outside today was to finish cleaning off my car. Guy dug out earlier - dug an extra space and put a trash can there. He promptly shooed away some lecherous college students who attempted to usurp the space. Spencer and I will venture out tomorrow when the temperature rises a little. Guy actually took pics of the Xmas lights that are still up outside, so it looks like we had a White Xmas. Silly.

Hats off to the all NFL teams who played in the Northeast today. They should be commended. It is friggin COLD out there. Oh wait, if I was getting paid millions to run around in spandex and shoulder pads and get smacked around a little, I'd probably be willing to do it in the cold too.

Oh, I have a cold. There needs to be a new cold medicine that treats Stuffy Head, Cough, Congestion, Sore Throat, aches and pains and Post Nasal Drip itch. It should also moisturize your lips and nose so you can withstand the effects of tissue erosion.

Final thought:
EAGLES 35, Patriots 24
Superbowl XXXIX

Yeah!