"Now, in the names of all the gods at once,
Upon what meat doth this our Caesar feed,
That he is grown so great?"
- From Shakespeare's Julius Caesar
Number of strangers today who felt compelled to comment on my pregnancy: 2
Last night I woke up on the couch after having crashed there with Guy, and we went to bed and I tried to go to sleep. You'd think I was just transplanting myself from one sleep surface to another, but I was uncomfortable and anxious, having Braxton Hicks and more or going crazy via worrying. Guy comforted me and we talked until I could get it together and relax a little and finally around 4 I fell asleep. I had to go through it. I had to lose my mind.
This morning (Saturday), Guy sat down with me and showed me a list of questions he'd prepared for us to review with Dr. Brest. It was so cute - he did it like a formal letter. He worked on it this morning while I slept. It was HIS way of going through it. I go crazy, he writes letters and prepares. "Just the facts m'aam".
We spoke with the good doctor and he told Guy to stay away from unreliable Internet information. The truth of it is, we have a big baby, and there are serious possible risks involved with a vaginal birth, and he recommended the Cesarean under the circumstances. He answered all my questions about the procedure and how things would be handled and I feel good.
I will say that I haven't had a whole lotta luck finding reassuring or at least neutral information about C-sections. I will give a thumbs up to a forum I found on babycenter.com. Moms who've had the procedure have given some decent advice about what happens during a C-section, what to expect and what to ask for. It helped me straighten out my thoughts on the matter.
So the long and short of it is that we decided we're going for it, and Monday May 17 is the day.
I am going to nickname my son Ajax.
Ajax was one of the best fighters among the Greeks and was famed for his steadfast courage in the face of adversity. He fought during the Trojan War. We saw Troy tonight with our friends Richard and Cheryl and their daughter Lily. The actor who played Ajax was massive. Spencer doesn't have far to go.
Before we went to the movie we had dinner again at Bertucci's. Oy, has their food tanked in quality. Guy and I got there before our friends but walked through to see if they were already seated. When we found them and sat down, Guy proceeded to tell us that while we were walking through, a couple with a newborn was grabbing at us and trying to make contact..they appeared to know us and were insistent on getting our attention.... "Hello! Hello!"...so much so that they even pointed at their baby as if to say "See we got one!". I hadn't noticed cause I was looking for our friends. I missed the whole thing. We all laughed and I told my "Strangers Will Say the Darndest Things" tales. Later on, Guy pointed them out at their table and it turned out they were a couple from our birthing class. I was SO embarrassed! I waved and felt guilty for not having noticed them. I told Guy on our way home from Dairyland (yummy soft ice cream in Roxborough on the way home from the movie) that if I ever see them again I'll be sure to apologize for our obliviousness.
Note about going to a movie when 9 months pregnant: Bring a footstool or make sure you can put your feet up on someone. By the end of the 160 minute film I almost couldn't put my sandals back on.
It's late now and I am getting sleepy. Tomorrow will be a big day - gotta re-pack, etc. We go in Monday morning at 530 to get set up. 730 is when the procedure starts or as Dr. Brest said, it's "Tee off time". I am SO not a morning person. I hope I'm so tired I'm relaxed. This is my first major surgery of any kind. The only stitches I've ever had were when I had my wisdom teeth out. This is a far cry from wisdom teeth!
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Friday, May 14, 2004
Size Matters
The proverbial dung has hit the fan.
Today I woke my pregnant butt up and drove it to the doctor's office for yet another round of "Whose Cervix is Not on First?"
Once finished with the standard conversation about the non-goings on in my body, we agreed that induction would commence next Thursday evening with an infusion of something called Cervidil, to "ripen" my cervix, followed Friday morning by Pitocin and the normal induction procedures to bring on the labor.
Then it was off to the Perinatal Lab for a Biophysical Profile and Non-Stress test to make sure my son was not living la vida loca in my uterus.
The ultrasound was performed by a fairly crabby technician who seemed obsessed with my due date. She was also keen on using the entire bottle of conduction gel on my belly; so much so that I found it on my underwear and pants at the conclusion of the scan. Thanks for the memories, lady.
She said Spencer "passed" the scans just fine and the ultrasound doctor (Dr. McSomething or other) came in to confirm all was well. He asked if my doc wanted the fetal weight and I said "I don't know but I'd love to find out if you have any idea". He went on to tell me that if my doc hadn't ordered it he won't tell me because there is a margin of error which makes it not the most reliable measurement. So much for THAT.
Then down to the next part of the test - the non-stress test, where they monitor the baby's heartbeat, checking for movement and change of pulse during movement. Spencer got wise to this right off the bat and more or less went to sleep. They had me in a fuzzy red Barca lounger with a back that wouldn't stay put. I had two hockey-puck sized apparatus strapped to my belly which the technician had to move when Spencer decided his "left side of mommy's body" hang out was calling him. I was given a button to push whenever he moved. About 15 minutes into it, with things being fairly quiet, the technician (who was sweet and accommodating and spared me the abundance of conduction gel) asked me if I'd been keeping track of his movements each day and actually seemed concerned. I laughed cause this kid has been about as quiet as fireworks. And, as timing would have it, almost on cue he started bopping around and gave the technician all she needed to see. She took her readouts to the doctor and came back herself to tell me I was free and clear to go.
So, happy day for me. Baby good, I'm good, and I now have a deadline scheduled to go have my little man, so he's coming one way or the other. Time to shop!...or just find something light to wear for the next week since it's about 30 degrees hotter than normal. Did I mention it went up to 90 today?
I talked to my friend Donna and was planning to maybe go to a local mall to stroll around but when she talked about how weird it would be if my water broke in the mall and I had to have my baby at King of Prussia, I scrapped the idea and opted for local strip mall instead.
I hit Old Navy for a coupla tank tops and pajama bottoms that were stylish enough to wear out of the house. I bought some groceries and drove around a bit and headed home, where Guy was situating himself after a long day of depositions and "putting my shoe into a witness's mouth". Relaxed and ready to unwind, I found a crossword puzzle from the Philadelphia Inquirer and set myself outside on the chaise to attack it. Guy puttered around the yard and Mack was content to roll around and sniff the grass. Ah, Friday.
After about 30 minutes, suddenly above the din of some Adult Alternative music on WXPN, we could hear the phone ringing. In usual fashion, we ignored it in favor of the answering machine since telemarketers are notorious for calling near dinner time. Guy then thought better of it, thinking it might be the plumber calling back about finishing installation of toilet and sink in our new bathroom on the first floor (a project 6 months in the making). He went in and in moments was leaning out the screen door, waving me in...
"Your doc called and wants you to call him back about the test results today. He said it's nothing to worry about but call him."
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?
I repeat....
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?
I immediately called and got his answering service. The ever-so-helpful-and-kind operator was more than happy to tell me to call back Monday. I almost had an aneurysm on the spot. She was more or less dismissive when I informed her that I was told he wanted to speak to me today and that I was 4 days past my due date. She reluctantly agreed to get him the message and I hung up, distraught. For 10 minutes I tried to go back outside and go back to the puzzle, but it was to no avail. I was WORRYING full steam. What could have happened between the tests and now? Did something show up? Was there not as much amniotic fluid as they thought? Was something amuck?
Back into the house I went, phone in hand and listened to the docs message to see if there was some kind of code I was supposed to give the operator or something so he would get the message. It turns out there was a little subtlety to it that I had not mastered, so I prepared to call again. Guy came in and sat down with me while I called. The operator I got this time was much smoother in her handling of the situation, despite her Benson & Hedges rippled voice. So we sat there for 5 minutes, both of us now WORRYING.
My doc called. By the way I don't know if I've mentioned it, but his name is Dr. Brest. Yes, an ObGyn, and his name is Dr. Brest. The comedy is not lost on me. So, Dr. Brest called back and proceeded to tell me the following...
All the results were fine, and the technicians DID take that fetal weight measurement afterall and the staff physician (Dr. McWhatsajobby) wanted to know if Dr. Brest wanted the info. Apparently with an ultrasound at this time, a larger size baby has weight measurements with a + or - 15% discrepancy. A LARGER SIZE BABY. They measured my baby as being a little over 4500 grams, or about 10lbs.
That's right, people. I may be carrying a 10 pound baby.
Now add or subtract 15% and this kid is somewhere between 8.5 and 12 pounds.
I have a giant baby.
Nowhere do Guy or I know of anyone in our families giving birth to giants.
I called my mom, she doesn't know.
Guy has renamed our son Moby Baby.
The not-so fun part of it is that I now have to decide between a scheduled C-section on Monday the 17th (Dr Brest had a slot for it and scheduled me in case I wanted to do it now) or waiting til induction and seeing what happens. There is no real exact science here, just alot of possibilities.
In the car on the way to pick up steaks and slurpees, Guy asked me to get out a pen and paper and start writing down questions to ask and look up. He's so logical. All I could think about was missing out on labor and having to lie there strapped to a table, and he was making lists. I was thinking about scarring and loss of my fun tummy I used to have and plastic surgeons and whether or not I'd be able to get up and down the stairs, and he was thinking about risks and health benefits. We were clearly Yin and Yang in the Saab with Mack in the backseat slobbering all over us. As I sit here now indulging my slightly clobbered ego, he is reading about C-sections.
So for the next 12 hours or so, we'll be home trying to decide what's best for us and my gigundo son. I already told Guy this kid better be an all-star, the likes of which noone's ever seen. I said "Do you realize by the time he's 4 he'll be taller than me?" to which Guy replied, "He'll be taller than you when he's born. He's already a month old in there". I also now realize that either half or all of the baby clothes folks bought us will probably be too small for him. He'll outgrow his infant seat in a month. I may have to change the name of this blog to "My Life with Hercules". Am I growing a superhero?
This is becoming a real melodrama, no?
Until our next installment, here's an interesting statistic I think I'll post from now on at the beginning of each entry 'til he's born:
Number of strangers today who felt compelled to comment on my pregnancy: 4
The proverbial dung has hit the fan.
Today I woke my pregnant butt up and drove it to the doctor's office for yet another round of "Whose Cervix is Not on First?"
Once finished with the standard conversation about the non-goings on in my body, we agreed that induction would commence next Thursday evening with an infusion of something called Cervidil, to "ripen" my cervix, followed Friday morning by Pitocin and the normal induction procedures to bring on the labor.
Then it was off to the Perinatal Lab for a Biophysical Profile and Non-Stress test to make sure my son was not living la vida loca in my uterus.
The ultrasound was performed by a fairly crabby technician who seemed obsessed with my due date. She was also keen on using the entire bottle of conduction gel on my belly; so much so that I found it on my underwear and pants at the conclusion of the scan. Thanks for the memories, lady.
She said Spencer "passed" the scans just fine and the ultrasound doctor (Dr. McSomething or other) came in to confirm all was well. He asked if my doc wanted the fetal weight and I said "I don't know but I'd love to find out if you have any idea". He went on to tell me that if my doc hadn't ordered it he won't tell me because there is a margin of error which makes it not the most reliable measurement. So much for THAT.
Then down to the next part of the test - the non-stress test, where they monitor the baby's heartbeat, checking for movement and change of pulse during movement. Spencer got wise to this right off the bat and more or less went to sleep. They had me in a fuzzy red Barca lounger with a back that wouldn't stay put. I had two hockey-puck sized apparatus strapped to my belly which the technician had to move when Spencer decided his "left side of mommy's body" hang out was calling him. I was given a button to push whenever he moved. About 15 minutes into it, with things being fairly quiet, the technician (who was sweet and accommodating and spared me the abundance of conduction gel) asked me if I'd been keeping track of his movements each day and actually seemed concerned. I laughed cause this kid has been about as quiet as fireworks. And, as timing would have it, almost on cue he started bopping around and gave the technician all she needed to see. She took her readouts to the doctor and came back herself to tell me I was free and clear to go.
So, happy day for me. Baby good, I'm good, and I now have a deadline scheduled to go have my little man, so he's coming one way or the other. Time to shop!...or just find something light to wear for the next week since it's about 30 degrees hotter than normal. Did I mention it went up to 90 today?
I talked to my friend Donna and was planning to maybe go to a local mall to stroll around but when she talked about how weird it would be if my water broke in the mall and I had to have my baby at King of Prussia, I scrapped the idea and opted for local strip mall instead.
I hit Old Navy for a coupla tank tops and pajama bottoms that were stylish enough to wear out of the house. I bought some groceries and drove around a bit and headed home, where Guy was situating himself after a long day of depositions and "putting my shoe into a witness's mouth". Relaxed and ready to unwind, I found a crossword puzzle from the Philadelphia Inquirer and set myself outside on the chaise to attack it. Guy puttered around the yard and Mack was content to roll around and sniff the grass. Ah, Friday.
After about 30 minutes, suddenly above the din of some Adult Alternative music on WXPN, we could hear the phone ringing. In usual fashion, we ignored it in favor of the answering machine since telemarketers are notorious for calling near dinner time. Guy then thought better of it, thinking it might be the plumber calling back about finishing installation of toilet and sink in our new bathroom on the first floor (a project 6 months in the making). He went in and in moments was leaning out the screen door, waving me in...
"Your doc called and wants you to call him back about the test results today. He said it's nothing to worry about but call him."
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?
I repeat....
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?
I immediately called and got his answering service. The ever-so-helpful-and-kind operator was more than happy to tell me to call back Monday. I almost had an aneurysm on the spot. She was more or less dismissive when I informed her that I was told he wanted to speak to me today and that I was 4 days past my due date. She reluctantly agreed to get him the message and I hung up, distraught. For 10 minutes I tried to go back outside and go back to the puzzle, but it was to no avail. I was WORRYING full steam. What could have happened between the tests and now? Did something show up? Was there not as much amniotic fluid as they thought? Was something amuck?
Back into the house I went, phone in hand and listened to the docs message to see if there was some kind of code I was supposed to give the operator or something so he would get the message. It turns out there was a little subtlety to it that I had not mastered, so I prepared to call again. Guy came in and sat down with me while I called. The operator I got this time was much smoother in her handling of the situation, despite her Benson & Hedges rippled voice. So we sat there for 5 minutes, both of us now WORRYING.
My doc called. By the way I don't know if I've mentioned it, but his name is Dr. Brest. Yes, an ObGyn, and his name is Dr. Brest. The comedy is not lost on me. So, Dr. Brest called back and proceeded to tell me the following...
All the results were fine, and the technicians DID take that fetal weight measurement afterall and the staff physician (Dr. McWhatsajobby) wanted to know if Dr. Brest wanted the info. Apparently with an ultrasound at this time, a larger size baby has weight measurements with a + or - 15% discrepancy. A LARGER SIZE BABY. They measured my baby as being a little over 4500 grams, or about 10lbs.
That's right, people. I may be carrying a 10 pound baby.
Now add or subtract 15% and this kid is somewhere between 8.5 and 12 pounds.
I have a giant baby.
Nowhere do Guy or I know of anyone in our families giving birth to giants.
I called my mom, she doesn't know.
Guy has renamed our son Moby Baby.
The not-so fun part of it is that I now have to decide between a scheduled C-section on Monday the 17th (Dr Brest had a slot for it and scheduled me in case I wanted to do it now) or waiting til induction and seeing what happens. There is no real exact science here, just alot of possibilities.
In the car on the way to pick up steaks and slurpees, Guy asked me to get out a pen and paper and start writing down questions to ask and look up. He's so logical. All I could think about was missing out on labor and having to lie there strapped to a table, and he was making lists. I was thinking about scarring and loss of my fun tummy I used to have and plastic surgeons and whether or not I'd be able to get up and down the stairs, and he was thinking about risks and health benefits. We were clearly Yin and Yang in the Saab with Mack in the backseat slobbering all over us. As I sit here now indulging my slightly clobbered ego, he is reading about C-sections.
So for the next 12 hours or so, we'll be home trying to decide what's best for us and my gigundo son. I already told Guy this kid better be an all-star, the likes of which noone's ever seen. I said "Do you realize by the time he's 4 he'll be taller than me?" to which Guy replied, "He'll be taller than you when he's born. He's already a month old in there". I also now realize that either half or all of the baby clothes folks bought us will probably be too small for him. He'll outgrow his infant seat in a month. I may have to change the name of this blog to "My Life with Hercules". Am I growing a superhero?
This is becoming a real melodrama, no?
Until our next installment, here's an interesting statistic I think I'll post from now on at the beginning of each entry 'til he's born:
Number of strangers today who felt compelled to comment on my pregnancy: 4
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Wakey Upey!
I was just instant messaging with my cousin Cindy and we were discussing the delay in Spencer's arrival. Her mother just passed away and she was talking about our late Great Aunt Harriet (we called her "Hab") and how she'd be in Heaven playing cards or whatever. Cindy reminded me about how when we were little Aunt Hab used to have to come get us out of the pool or whatever body of water we'd be swimming in, cause we'd never want to get out. Then Cindy said this:
"Maybe Spencer just needs Hab to give him that final 'OK out of the water!' speech."
My cousin is not one to go into lengthy diatribes or philosophical rants about life and such. Neither was my Aunt Hab. And it suddenly struck me that I haven't mentioned her lately or really thought about her in awhile. I've been so completely consumed in this baby business.
It really would help to have a few words from Aunt Hab right now.
"Wakey Upey" was how she used to try to get me up in the morning. She'd come in and clap her hands and be very enthusiastic. I couldn't take it. I have never been a morning person. Poor woman. She didn't have children of her own and I was like her semi-adopted ruffian since I stayed with her quite often as a child while my mother worked, etc.
She'd definitely have something to say about this situation - she was one of the first female pediatricians in the country. She died in April 2002 after a long battle with Cancer.
Hey Aunt Hab, if you're out there somewhere and you can have some influence over my current situation, I'd be grateful for some wisdom or some kind of kickstart into labor from the Great Beyond...
"Maybe Spencer just needs Hab to give him that final 'OK out of the water!' speech."
My cousin is not one to go into lengthy diatribes or philosophical rants about life and such. Neither was my Aunt Hab. And it suddenly struck me that I haven't mentioned her lately or really thought about her in awhile. I've been so completely consumed in this baby business.
It really would help to have a few words from Aunt Hab right now.
"Wakey Upey" was how she used to try to get me up in the morning. She'd come in and clap her hands and be very enthusiastic. I couldn't take it. I have never been a morning person. Poor woman. She didn't have children of her own and I was like her semi-adopted ruffian since I stayed with her quite often as a child while my mother worked, etc.
She'd definitely have something to say about this situation - she was one of the first female pediatricians in the country. She died in April 2002 after a long battle with Cancer.
Hey Aunt Hab, if you're out there somewhere and you can have some influence over my current situation, I'd be grateful for some wisdom or some kind of kickstart into labor from the Great Beyond...
My "Density"
I woke up at 230 this morning crampy and thinking MAYBE. Then I went back to bed.
At 530 I woke up because it was too hot to sleep in our room. Guy put another fan in the room and by 8 I was getting back into bed to sleep until 930 with visions of Howard Stern partying in Las Vegas (I had the broadcast on this morning in the bedroom so it leaked into my dreams).
Awake by 930, I caved in and did the other curtain I needed to do...still nothing. After I was done, I cleaned up and put the sewing machine away - I felt it was symbolic in some way...started to feel crampy again...got excited. Came upstairs and sat on the couch and my belly was stickin out all wacky. My son's position resembles that of a watermelon swallowed sideways. He's not leaving. They're going to have to go spelunking and get him out. Eww, what's with all the cave references?
Well it's now 1130am. I have less than 24 hours to go into labor and avoid more waiting in doctor's offices. I would like to have him on the 13th. I would like to have him, period. Castor oil is becoming more and more appealing. Who is the child and why is he so content to hang out all cramped inside me? Am I that awesome from the inside out? My uterus must be like a 4-star resort.
The other day while watching a child special on Discovery Health Channel I saw a statistic flashed about average gestation for new moms compared to repeat moms. Apparently there's like a 20 day + difference. It's like 279 days for first time moms and 244 or something for repeat moms. I think that's what it is. How can that be fair? Is that like your biology checking your psychology? "You think you want this? You're gonna WAIT!" It's like the ultimate test of your patience and resolve and fashion sense.
I have no summer maternity clothes. I'm not Kate Hudson or Gwynneth or some starlet with my fancy shmancy designer 300$ maternity belly tees and low rider jeans. In suburban America it is not stylish to have your big old baby belly sticking out in the hot breeze with your belly button stretched out beyond belief and your linea negra appearing like a coffee stain down your middle. Let's not even mention all the surplus hair that's now covering you making you look like you're wearing a flesh colored furball strapped to you.
Have I mentioned I haven't had Dunkin Donuts in months and months?
I am dying for a coffee roll and one of those frozen latte drinks they make now.
I guess I should eat something.
I just read that sex may help bring on labor because "semen contains a natural prostaglandin that helps the cervix to mature, and orgasm stimulates rhythmic contractions of the uterus." This would be a far more entertaining method for "induction" at home than castor oil, no? I'll have to suggest it to Guy and see if he thinks he can help...
At 530 I woke up because it was too hot to sleep in our room. Guy put another fan in the room and by 8 I was getting back into bed to sleep until 930 with visions of Howard Stern partying in Las Vegas (I had the broadcast on this morning in the bedroom so it leaked into my dreams).
Awake by 930, I caved in and did the other curtain I needed to do...still nothing. After I was done, I cleaned up and put the sewing machine away - I felt it was symbolic in some way...started to feel crampy again...got excited. Came upstairs and sat on the couch and my belly was stickin out all wacky. My son's position resembles that of a watermelon swallowed sideways. He's not leaving. They're going to have to go spelunking and get him out. Eww, what's with all the cave references?
Well it's now 1130am. I have less than 24 hours to go into labor and avoid more waiting in doctor's offices. I would like to have him on the 13th. I would like to have him, period. Castor oil is becoming more and more appealing. Who is the child and why is he so content to hang out all cramped inside me? Am I that awesome from the inside out? My uterus must be like a 4-star resort.
The other day while watching a child special on Discovery Health Channel I saw a statistic flashed about average gestation for new moms compared to repeat moms. Apparently there's like a 20 day + difference. It's like 279 days for first time moms and 244 or something for repeat moms. I think that's what it is. How can that be fair? Is that like your biology checking your psychology? "You think you want this? You're gonna WAIT!" It's like the ultimate test of your patience and resolve and fashion sense.
I have no summer maternity clothes. I'm not Kate Hudson or Gwynneth or some starlet with my fancy shmancy designer 300$ maternity belly tees and low rider jeans. In suburban America it is not stylish to have your big old baby belly sticking out in the hot breeze with your belly button stretched out beyond belief and your linea negra appearing like a coffee stain down your middle. Let's not even mention all the surplus hair that's now covering you making you look like you're wearing a flesh colored furball strapped to you.
Have I mentioned I haven't had Dunkin Donuts in months and months?
I am dying for a coffee roll and one of those frozen latte drinks they make now.
I guess I should eat something.
I just read that sex may help bring on labor because "semen contains a natural prostaglandin that helps the cervix to mature, and orgasm stimulates rhythmic contractions of the uterus." This would be a far more entertaining method for "induction" at home than castor oil, no? I'll have to suggest it to Guy and see if he thinks he can help...
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Signs
I wonder if my body will do anything to let me know I'm actually in labor.
Today I got my big self out of the house. Not before I talked to Guy's mom and assured her we'd call if anything happened, and not before I got a visit from the gas company threatening to cut off service even though we paid our bill in full a month ago. I was wearing my jammies which hardly cover me and I had to answer the door half covered with a rain jacket Guy has hanging by the door. Talk about self-conscious! Ugh. AND it's like a bezillion degrees out so I'm all hot and gross and semi-draped in blue ripstop nylon and this guy wants to shut of the gas when I'm about to take a friggin shower. Nice timing.
Nonetheless, I got out and went to meet Guy at a client's place of business and we went flower and shrub shopping for our newly manicured lawn. I learned that Rhododendrons are shrubs and Delphiums are plants. Guy says I have a memory block when it comes to plants. I don't know why. Must be something from my childhood. Because everything in life is from childhood. So I better watch it with this kid or he's gonna have a memory block about Rhododendrons.
I will say, one motivating factor today was air conditioning in my car. We don't have central air in the house and no units are up and running yet, so I realized I could get the benefits of AC right in my beetle. Brilliant! I couldn't really get comfy in my car seat, but hey, cars aren't meant for reclining.
So after purchasing some Impatients and Petunias, Guy stopped at 7-11 on the way home to get milk - when he got home he had Slurpees! yumm. I haven't had one since I got pregnant. I hope the baby didn't OD on sugar. We sat in our backyard in the grass. Mack rolled around and sniffed every piece of sod he sat on. We talked about where the new plants and shrubs would go. He got up and sat in the lawn chair and I had to get up by myself. It was like trying to stand up from lying down while carrying a load of wood on your back. I had like NO balance. Ridiculous.
Travesty on American Idol tonight. Guy has officially told the show to Talk To The Hand. He's had it. I don't care. I just want to have a baby.
Strange Instinct: I keep feeling like if I sit down at the sewing machine to finish the curtains, I'll go into labor. I'm tempted to go try but now that I've though about it so much I know nothing will happen. Have I mentioned I'm losing it?
My cousin from California sent us some sweet storybooks.
The card she sent was really funny too. It has a mom in a rocking chair singing "Love Shack" by the B52s to her baby and on the inside it says something like "Any song can be a lullaby"...so clever. I personally plan to sing Beatles songs.
I even have a music box that plays 3 different Beatles songs - my very first boyfriend gave it to me. I'm glad I kept it.
Is itching a sign that labor is coming? What about paranoia and slight halllucination? What does Castor Oil have that so many women will try it to go into labor? I'm getting tempted folks. I really am.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is on momentarily. I highly recommend it. Local news is a nightmare, and network news is sorely lacking in common sense and a sense of the ridiculous. I am living ridiculous right now.
And HOT. It's freaking hot in here. That would be another benefit of labor - air conditioned hospital!!!!!!!!!!
Today I got my big self out of the house. Not before I talked to Guy's mom and assured her we'd call if anything happened, and not before I got a visit from the gas company threatening to cut off service even though we paid our bill in full a month ago. I was wearing my jammies which hardly cover me and I had to answer the door half covered with a rain jacket Guy has hanging by the door. Talk about self-conscious! Ugh. AND it's like a bezillion degrees out so I'm all hot and gross and semi-draped in blue ripstop nylon and this guy wants to shut of the gas when I'm about to take a friggin shower. Nice timing.
Nonetheless, I got out and went to meet Guy at a client's place of business and we went flower and shrub shopping for our newly manicured lawn. I learned that Rhododendrons are shrubs and Delphiums are plants. Guy says I have a memory block when it comes to plants. I don't know why. Must be something from my childhood. Because everything in life is from childhood. So I better watch it with this kid or he's gonna have a memory block about Rhododendrons.
I will say, one motivating factor today was air conditioning in my car. We don't have central air in the house and no units are up and running yet, so I realized I could get the benefits of AC right in my beetle. Brilliant! I couldn't really get comfy in my car seat, but hey, cars aren't meant for reclining.
So after purchasing some Impatients and Petunias, Guy stopped at 7-11 on the way home to get milk - when he got home he had Slurpees! yumm. I haven't had one since I got pregnant. I hope the baby didn't OD on sugar. We sat in our backyard in the grass. Mack rolled around and sniffed every piece of sod he sat on. We talked about where the new plants and shrubs would go. He got up and sat in the lawn chair and I had to get up by myself. It was like trying to stand up from lying down while carrying a load of wood on your back. I had like NO balance. Ridiculous.
Travesty on American Idol tonight. Guy has officially told the show to Talk To The Hand. He's had it. I don't care. I just want to have a baby.
Strange Instinct: I keep feeling like if I sit down at the sewing machine to finish the curtains, I'll go into labor. I'm tempted to go try but now that I've though about it so much I know nothing will happen. Have I mentioned I'm losing it?
My cousin from California sent us some sweet storybooks.
The card she sent was really funny too. It has a mom in a rocking chair singing "Love Shack" by the B52s to her baby and on the inside it says something like "Any song can be a lullaby"...so clever. I personally plan to sing Beatles songs.
I even have a music box that plays 3 different Beatles songs - my very first boyfriend gave it to me. I'm glad I kept it.
Is itching a sign that labor is coming? What about paranoia and slight halllucination? What does Castor Oil have that so many women will try it to go into labor? I'm getting tempted folks. I really am.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is on momentarily. I highly recommend it. Local news is a nightmare, and network news is sorely lacking in common sense and a sense of the ridiculous. I am living ridiculous right now.
And HOT. It's freaking hot in here. That would be another benefit of labor - air conditioned hospital!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
The Grass Is Always Greener
...when you first lay down the sod in the backyard.
Yesterday it was a dirt field, now it looks like something out of Home & Garden Magazine. My son has a pretty lawn to crawl around in...IF I EVER GIVE BIRTH!
Mack the pooch rolled around on approximately every piece. I would have but I seriously picture myself stuck on the ground like a cockroach until Guy got home from work...
I watched Birth Day on the Discovery Health Channel and there were two different women - one having her first child and the other having her 4th. They and their husbands talked about how hard it is and how emotional you become when you see your baby's face for the first time. Now I know why. Cause I won't BELIEVE I actually have him outside of my body!
Today I learned about Chaos Theory of childrearing from a family member who called to check in. It's the theory that if you have a chaotic life and don't give the baby some kind of schedule and dependable pattern to follow along with you, the baby will not know night from day and will never sleep and it will be harder to find out when things are really wrong because the baby will always be fussy.
I got some sympathy from a friend calling to see if the doc had found anything new yesterday. I told my belly that everyone's waiting to see him. That doesn't seem to matter cause I tell him all the time. He's not impressed by the attention.
Do you know how HARD it is not to tell people you're pregnant when you're arguing a point? I had Cingular Wireless on the phone today and I was reading a customer service rep the riot act about ridiculous reconnection charges totalling almost 90$ that I don't want to pay. I was this close to yelling, "I AM A PREGNANT WOMAN AND I NEED MY PHONES TO BE WORKING IN CASE I GO INTO LABOR, DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CRITICAL THIS IS? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE PREGNANT? DO YOU?!!!?"
I didn't do it.
They put me on hold for 10 minutes to tell me they were sending me a copy of my contract...I still kept it together. I must be losing it.
Hey, American Idol is on. The theme is disco.
My choice of song would be "Don't Leave Me This Way"
Thank you.
Yesterday it was a dirt field, now it looks like something out of Home & Garden Magazine. My son has a pretty lawn to crawl around in...IF I EVER GIVE BIRTH!
Mack the pooch rolled around on approximately every piece. I would have but I seriously picture myself stuck on the ground like a cockroach until Guy got home from work...
I watched Birth Day on the Discovery Health Channel and there were two different women - one having her first child and the other having her 4th. They and their husbands talked about how hard it is and how emotional you become when you see your baby's face for the first time. Now I know why. Cause I won't BELIEVE I actually have him outside of my body!
Today I learned about Chaos Theory of childrearing from a family member who called to check in. It's the theory that if you have a chaotic life and don't give the baby some kind of schedule and dependable pattern to follow along with you, the baby will not know night from day and will never sleep and it will be harder to find out when things are really wrong because the baby will always be fussy.
I got some sympathy from a friend calling to see if the doc had found anything new yesterday. I told my belly that everyone's waiting to see him. That doesn't seem to matter cause I tell him all the time. He's not impressed by the attention.
Do you know how HARD it is not to tell people you're pregnant when you're arguing a point? I had Cingular Wireless on the phone today and I was reading a customer service rep the riot act about ridiculous reconnection charges totalling almost 90$ that I don't want to pay. I was this close to yelling, "I AM A PREGNANT WOMAN AND I NEED MY PHONES TO BE WORKING IN CASE I GO INTO LABOR, DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CRITICAL THIS IS? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE PREGNANT? DO YOU?!!!?"
I didn't do it.
They put me on hold for 10 minutes to tell me they were sending me a copy of my contract...I still kept it together. I must be losing it.
Hey, American Idol is on. The theme is disco.
My choice of song would be "Don't Leave Me This Way"
Thank you.
Monday, May 10, 2004
We Don't Need No Stinking Due Date!
I sat in the doctor's office for 90 minutes today. I am 9 months pregnant and I sat in the doctor's office for 90 MINUTES today. I read the following publications:
Philadelphia Magazine (2 issues)
Time Magazine
Newsweek
I tried to nap in the exam room, but it's hard to rest with your legs up in stirrups.
I feel so HEAVY. It's unreal now. Like in the last 2 days it feels like the baby weighs twice what he did last week. Luckily the scale at the docs office says I'm holding steady. I don't know how.
So my doctor finally walks in to see me, and says "So, anything happening?"
I just look at him like he's insane.
He checks for heartbeat and does his weekly probe...nothing doing.
I ask what next. He says "I was hoping you'd tell me"...he's such a joker(grr).
So he starts to consider when my next visit should be and I'm babbling about how I'm almost 7 days overdue and he stops and goes "I have your due date as May 10...we don't go by the due date they give with the later ultrasound, we stick with the earliest one"
MAY 10!!!!!! That's TODAY!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
So there I am, half nekked, stuck to the sanitary paper on the exam seat, being made aware that I've been anticipating the joyous occasion a week early. How much more must I be made to suffer? To quote Guy quoting the Pope in Agony and the Ecstasy: "When will you make an end?!!!"
Guy is having sod put down in the backyard - the men were here today tilling up the soil and cleaning out the yard. Guy drew a "home plate" in the dirt with his foot - he's got plans for our little slugger one day. He's gonna play catch. A man with vision. I can't see past my belly right now.
I'm sitting here on the couch in Mu Mu style. It's getting hotter out and I am uncomfortable in everything. Last year I bought this nightie - it's like an elongated "wifebeater" tee - It actually fits. I can't be bothered with pants anymore, I'm sorry. I've had it with "belly" bras and over the "belly" pants and everything.
The laptop is heating up my thighs and making me even more uncomfortable. I think I'll finish watching the wretchedly edited TV version of Breakfast Club.
Heartburn is imminent. Thank you little chocolate doughnuts!
I sat in the doctor's office for 90 minutes today. I am 9 months pregnant and I sat in the doctor's office for 90 MINUTES today. I read the following publications:
Philadelphia Magazine (2 issues)
Time Magazine
Newsweek
I tried to nap in the exam room, but it's hard to rest with your legs up in stirrups.
I feel so HEAVY. It's unreal now. Like in the last 2 days it feels like the baby weighs twice what he did last week. Luckily the scale at the docs office says I'm holding steady. I don't know how.
So my doctor finally walks in to see me, and says "So, anything happening?"
I just look at him like he's insane.
He checks for heartbeat and does his weekly probe...nothing doing.
I ask what next. He says "I was hoping you'd tell me"...he's such a joker(grr).
So he starts to consider when my next visit should be and I'm babbling about how I'm almost 7 days overdue and he stops and goes "I have your due date as May 10...we don't go by the due date they give with the later ultrasound, we stick with the earliest one"
MAY 10!!!!!! That's TODAY!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
So there I am, half nekked, stuck to the sanitary paper on the exam seat, being made aware that I've been anticipating the joyous occasion a week early. How much more must I be made to suffer? To quote Guy quoting the Pope in Agony and the Ecstasy: "When will you make an end?!!!"
Guy is having sod put down in the backyard - the men were here today tilling up the soil and cleaning out the yard. Guy drew a "home plate" in the dirt with his foot - he's got plans for our little slugger one day. He's gonna play catch. A man with vision. I can't see past my belly right now.
I'm sitting here on the couch in Mu Mu style. It's getting hotter out and I am uncomfortable in everything. Last year I bought this nightie - it's like an elongated "wifebeater" tee - It actually fits. I can't be bothered with pants anymore, I'm sorry. I've had it with "belly" bras and over the "belly" pants and everything.
The laptop is heating up my thighs and making me even more uncomfortable. I think I'll finish watching the wretchedly edited TV version of Breakfast Club.
Heartburn is imminent. Thank you little chocolate doughnuts!
Sunday, May 09, 2004
"Mothers" Day
I slept til noon today. Nothin' doin. Late last night Spencer was kicking and swimming around like a 6 month old fetus, not a 9 month old fetus. I'm starting to wonder if he can't get out.
Guy gave ME a Mother's Day card. Go figure. I'm a mother in theory. I hope I'm not jinxed now. I am definitely starting to worry. Why haven't I dropped? Why is my belly so huge and tight yet my son has all this room to wiggle around and lie in me sideways? Should I eat less so I lose weight and tighten up so he has to come out?
I have another doctor appointment at 3pm tomorrow. I don't want to go. If I could just go into labor I wouldn't have to go!
It's beautiful out today, so I sat outside and read New York Times Magazine - I think I was only outside maybe 45 minutes -- the top I was wearing didn't cover my belly completely and now I have a tan line.
1. Bad for stretch marks
2. I look like a dyed easter egg
Not to mention I see the beginnings on my legs of a sun rash that I seem to have developed over the last two years. I think that all started in Spring 2002 before Guy and I went to Mexico - I didn't think we were going so I went tannning. That summer in North Carolina I got the worst bizarre red scratchy rash all over. Now every time I lie out, I get it. If I recall correctly, it goes away if I go out enough but when it first starts it's ugly and hive-like.
Woe is me. I mean it people.
Guy also surprised me today by offering to take me to IHOP. I was ecstatic, but also, I'm a realist. It's Mother's Day and everyone will take their mom there after church or just because it's Sunday. So I think we're going tomorrow. I'm so happy! It's the little things at this point. I think I even recall him saying it was Free Tickle Sunday, so I'll have to take advantage of that later. "Tickle" is a light massage I like on my arms and back. It makes me sleepy and relaxed and quiet. Like a sedative might if I was into drugs. I tell you what, I may be start looking into non-placenta crossing drugs if this pregnancy continues on any longer.
Ever watch the movie G.I. Jane? At about 2 am last night I was watching it. I swear when Spencer's born I'm gonna shave my head and start doing crazy push ups and upsidedown sit ups like Demi Moore did. I might even run around the neighborhood carrying a bllow up raft over my head. Or maybe I'll just push Spencer around in his stroller.
(Chant the following loudly while marching)
"I don't know but I been told
This pregnancy is getting old!
Sound off : Spencer
Sound off : Be born
Spencer be born
Spencer, BE BORN!"
Well if nothing else, there's a new episode of the Sopranos on tonight.
Guy gave ME a Mother's Day card. Go figure. I'm a mother in theory. I hope I'm not jinxed now. I am definitely starting to worry. Why haven't I dropped? Why is my belly so huge and tight yet my son has all this room to wiggle around and lie in me sideways? Should I eat less so I lose weight and tighten up so he has to come out?
I have another doctor appointment at 3pm tomorrow. I don't want to go. If I could just go into labor I wouldn't have to go!
It's beautiful out today, so I sat outside and read New York Times Magazine - I think I was only outside maybe 45 minutes -- the top I was wearing didn't cover my belly completely and now I have a tan line.
1. Bad for stretch marks
2. I look like a dyed easter egg
Not to mention I see the beginnings on my legs of a sun rash that I seem to have developed over the last two years. I think that all started in Spring 2002 before Guy and I went to Mexico - I didn't think we were going so I went tannning. That summer in North Carolina I got the worst bizarre red scratchy rash all over. Now every time I lie out, I get it. If I recall correctly, it goes away if I go out enough but when it first starts it's ugly and hive-like.
Woe is me. I mean it people.
Guy also surprised me today by offering to take me to IHOP. I was ecstatic, but also, I'm a realist. It's Mother's Day and everyone will take their mom there after church or just because it's Sunday. So I think we're going tomorrow. I'm so happy! It's the little things at this point. I think I even recall him saying it was Free Tickle Sunday, so I'll have to take advantage of that later. "Tickle" is a light massage I like on my arms and back. It makes me sleepy and relaxed and quiet. Like a sedative might if I was into drugs. I tell you what, I may be start looking into non-placenta crossing drugs if this pregnancy continues on any longer.
Ever watch the movie G.I. Jane? At about 2 am last night I was watching it. I swear when Spencer's born I'm gonna shave my head and start doing crazy push ups and upsidedown sit ups like Demi Moore did. I might even run around the neighborhood carrying a bllow up raft over my head. Or maybe I'll just push Spencer around in his stroller.
(Chant the following loudly while marching)
"I don't know but I been told
This pregnancy is getting old!
Sound off : Spencer
Sound off : Be born
Spencer be born
Spencer, BE BORN!"
Well if nothing else, there's a new episode of the Sopranos on tonight.