My "Density"

I woke up at 230 this morning crampy and thinking MAYBE. Then I went back to bed.
At 530 I woke up because it was too hot to sleep in our room. Guy put another fan in the room and by 8 I was getting back into bed to sleep until 930 with visions of Howard Stern partying in Las Vegas (I had the broadcast on this morning in the bedroom so it leaked into my dreams).

Awake by 930, I caved in and did the other curtain I needed to do...still nothing. After I was done, I cleaned up and put the sewing machine away - I felt it was symbolic in some way...started to feel crampy again...got excited. Came upstairs and sat on the couch and my belly was stickin out all wacky. My son's position resembles that of a watermelon swallowed sideways. He's not leaving. They're going to have to go spelunking and get him out. Eww, what's with all the cave references?

Well it's now 1130am. I have less than 24 hours to go into labor and avoid more waiting in doctor's offices. I would like to have him on the 13th. I would like to have him, period. Castor oil is becoming more and more appealing. Who is the child and why is he so content to hang out all cramped inside me? Am I that awesome from the inside out? My uterus must be like a 4-star resort.

The other day while watching a child special on Discovery Health Channel I saw a statistic flashed about average gestation for new moms compared to repeat moms. Apparently there's like a 20 day + difference. It's like 279 days for first time moms and 244 or something for repeat moms. I think that's what it is. How can that be fair? Is that like your biology checking your psychology? "You think you want this? You're gonna WAIT!" It's like the ultimate test of your patience and resolve and fashion sense.

I have no summer maternity clothes. I'm not Kate Hudson or Gwynneth or some starlet with my fancy shmancy designer 300$ maternity belly tees and low rider jeans. In suburban America it is not stylish to have your big old baby belly sticking out in the hot breeze with your belly button stretched out beyond belief and your linea negra appearing like a coffee stain down your middle. Let's not even mention all the surplus hair that's now covering you making you look like you're wearing a flesh colored furball strapped to you.

Have I mentioned I haven't had Dunkin Donuts in months and months?
I am dying for a coffee roll and one of those frozen latte drinks they make now.
I guess I should eat something.

I just read that sex may help bring on labor because "semen contains a natural prostaglandin that helps the cervix to mature, and orgasm stimulates rhythmic contractions of the uterus." This would be a far more entertaining method for "induction" at home than castor oil, no? I'll have to suggest it to Guy and see if he thinks he can help...