New Parent Central (or More Enlightenment)

Now that I'm an experienced parent of over one month (HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!), I'm heading into straight on "advice"** territory....

-Get a small screwdriver. Get a flat head and a phillips head.
Why? All the battery operated toys, mobiles, sleep aids and monitors have removable panels with screws. No simple clip on panels here folks. The makers are worried your child will develop an taste for Duracell.

-If you're going to use a Baby Bjorn or some other kind of non-sling baby carrier, it's a good idea to have pants for the baby - to protect little legs from chafing and/or getting cold. Also, see my last item about socks...

-Boppy or some other horseshoe shaped pillows are key for feeding and holding the baby. They support the baby around you and they are also good to prop him/her up on their own. I highly recommend this purchase.

-Your baby has ear wax and long fingernails and toe cheese just like you do. Remember to gently clean and clip the baby. I mean besides the baths you give them...it's "detailing" for humans.

-Kleenex=Best way to prevent pee attacks (unless they've created a baby penis shield to put on boys during diaper changes). Stock up on Kleenex if you have a son and keep them by your diaper changing area. Guy would have been blind and/or dead the other day if urine was a weapon. Spencer peed in his face and all over him because he did not have the Kleenex at the ready.

-Breastfeeding?
Find nursing bras in colors if you can. Currently the standard is white for some reason. Perhaps the makers and corporate buyers of nursing bras think we're all virginal and only walk around in pretty nursing gowns all day, but see how pretty YOU feel with big chunk white bra straps leering out from beneath that cute summery top(that actually fits your newly preg-less shape). Here's a company that makes them in colors: Bravado.
I just bought two on sale at Belly Maternity (Read the article about them in Philadelphia Business Journal) on 16th & Pine in Center City, and they ROCK.

-Back exercises: Do them NOW. Do them often. Do whatever you can. You will use your back more than any other muscle in your body, other than your mouth. I am not referring to labor. I am referring to the fact that you are now the moving and carrying mechanism for your baby. You may also be the rocking-to-sleep mechanism and you will be on your feet quite a bit with this new little load on your hands.

-Do not decide the baby's feeding schedule in the middle of the night when one spouse/partner is asleep.

-When you go to the doctor's office, you'll have to wait to see the doctor so be prepared for crying, etc. Bring something to do maybe. Also, bring a blanket to the doctor's office. They make you undress the baby to his diaper and it's cold in there and they make you wait in the exam room too.
(Why should it be any different from when you go yourself?)

-Make sure you can fit the baby's stroller/travel system into the car.
(We have a VW Beetle and didn't realize it wouldn't fit until it was too late)

-Baby socks should have elastic around the openings. Little "footies" don't stay on; they get cast off by little baby feet.

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**Disclaimer: "Advice", meaning suggestions from my personal experience. I am not a professional advice-giver, nor do I profess to be. Take this "advice" at your own risk. It's not my fault if you like wearing nursing gowns or get injured by a renegade baby sock.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

Spencer and I have been going for daily walks around the neighborhood.

Two days ago, on the way to a small local park, I passed a woman walking a toddler in a stroller. She was very polite to move aside on the sidewalk so I could pass and I pondered the possibility of a social interaction, seeing as how we were both women walking children in strollers in the park and everyone tells me walking your infant in a stroller is more of a social thing for adult than for the baby. Minutes later, I stopped along the path in the park to nudge Spencer out of his stroller stupor to see if he'd take in any of the sights around him.

The woman approached with the toddler happily sucking away on a sippy cup.

The woman cooed at Spencer from just behind our park bench, and with what sounded like a Jamaican accent, asked "Ah you tryin' ta wake 'im up?"

"Yes", I said, smiling. "He was awake all night and I'm trying to move his nap schedule to a little later in the day".

"Awww, let 'im sleep.", she responded sweetly.

My spider senses tingled and I suspected that besides being obnoxious for giving a complete stranger advice about what to do with a child, this woman had other things on her mind...

She came over with the young lady in the stroller, who happened to be very adorable with big brown eyes and brown curly hair. I think she was about 2.
She sat down next to me and we proceeded to have a conversation I cannot remember now due to sleep deprivation and general lack of interest, but the subject of sleep schedules came up and she did mention that this toddler's parent tried different things with sleep as well, and also gave me a brief rundown of the little girl's sleep schedule. I correctly surmised that this woman was the toddler's nanny, and winced internally with the thought of what might come next in our conversation.

Then she dropped the bomb: "So do you have a babysitter?"

Luckily for her I anticipated such a question and didn't skip a beat. "Nope, it's just me for now. I'm not working. Just enjoying my time with him. But thanks for asking". We exchanged a few more pleasantries and then I made like a tree and got out of there.

EEEEEYECCCHHHHHH!

Could I have felt any more awkward?
Maybe, if she'd handed me a BROCHURE!
A sales pitch in the middle of a park with little ones around? Oy.
Nevermind that she was so keen to just drop advice on me without being asked.
Who told her that uninvited expression of your opinion is a good way to make an impression on a potential client?

So now I can add pushy nannies to my list of annoying things; along with spam, telemarketers, flyers on my car, and junk mail.

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Yesterday I took Spencer to see his daddy at work.
It's a little drive into Center City which Spencer has not seen yet cause he always sleeps in the car. Funny how everything I seem to do with him involves him sleeping through it.

Anyway, I parked in the garage near Guy's office, got Spence all set up in his stroller and we made our way two blocks to the building on Walnut where he keeps shop. Standing in the elevator in Guy's building, some young women got in with us and remarked at Spencer's cuteness (How could you not? He's gorgeous). Two got out on one floor, leaving just me and one other woman in the elevator.
"How old is he?"
"Six weeks" said I, smiling like a dope as usual. "He's my big boy."
"Wow", she said, looking at him again. "First time mother?"
"Yup" I said, still smiling goofily.

Then as her floor approached, she inquired, "So how do you like Motherhood?"

HUH? I didn't know what to say. It's like having someone ask you "So, how do you feel about God versus Evolution?" Who has the time to answer a question like that quickly in an elevator?

As I stumbled to find words, the doors opened on her floor. Suddenly, it felt like someone smacked me on the back of the head and I blurted out: "I love it!"

She smiled and got off and I think she said "Good for you" or "Good luck" or some other congratulatory remark. I smiled and waited for the doors to close again, at which time I believe my face scrunched up into a full squint.

I was dumbfounded. How did I like Motherhood?
Why was I not prepared to answer this question without rolling my eyes?
The only thing I could think was that it was hard and a little overwhelming right now.
I was not about to say this to a total stranger, anymore than I was about to hire someone I met in the park to be my son's caretaker.

Sales pitches I can handle, but semi-rhetorical questions about parenting have got me scrambling. How does having a child make you a target for probing inquiries into your existence? Does someone do this to every new mom?
I can tell you all you want to know about poop and bathing and socks, but please do not ask me to tell you what I think about all this. My head might explode.

Maybe once I get used to my husband's breathing next to me in bed again(currently it eliminates my ability to hear my son in the next room and makes me insane), I'll be able to think about what I think of my life as a mom.

I will say with confidence that I totally and completely love my baby boy.
So for now, if he is the definition of Motherhood, then I love it for sure.