Ok, in my last post, I marvelled at and extolled the virtue of the Ugg Boot.
The messiah had come and it was shearling.
Uh, Melbourne(or wherever they make em down undah), we have a problem.
I believe my very lovely warm and fuzzy boots may have caused me to smash my VW Beetle into a streetlight pole yesterday while trying to dislodge a trashcan lid from beneath.
Because they are so large on my feet(as you may recall, I recommended buying them snug because they stretch. I did not take that advice in the store), it may have been the suede-like, soft shearling that wedged itself between my right foot, the gas pedal and the brake. My most revered Ugg boot caused me to accelerate and crash while trying to turn into a neighbor's driveway.
My knee is banged up a bit, and my car is quite smashed. I have a rental car while the insurance company decides how to fix the car as cheaply as possible.
Now pay attention: DO NOT EVER accept a Ford Focus for a rental. The "basic" options are from like 1994. Manual roll-down windows. Manual locking doors. Yes, you have to lock each door separately. You can't even turn the key in the driver's door just to lock them all. Can you imagine buying that car? YIKES! Oh and they're terrible in snow. I almost got Spencer and me killed trying to stop for a red light while driving only 20 mph in second gear. I had to run the light because I couldn't stop without going into a spin. Stupid car.
Oh, and speaking of worship, the new season of American Idol began last night(Tuesday). The best part is the bad singing. Here's the sad part though: Thousands of hopefuls wait and wait to be seen. They go through a screening process well before they get to see the three top judges (that's Randy, Paula and Simon if you didn't already know), which means at least two rounds of judgement. If you're a stinker, but you're funny or newsworthy in some way, they might just let you keep going until you get to the big three. It's misleading because then the bubble is broken. Someone who might really think he has talent will be encouraged all the way to seeing Randy, Paula and Simon and then his world comes crashing down. That's not really fair.
BUT IT' S GREAT TV.
Now, a little more about idolatry and the like...
There's a presidental inauguration tomorrow.
I believe the "parade" route will be underground in a secured tunnel guarded by big robots with missiles. There's a fear of a terrorist attack. Wouldn't that be intense? What if all the cabinet people got it? Who would be president? Karl Rove, perhaps? He hides behind a curtain anyway.
God Bless America.
God Bless Ugg Boots that fit correctly.
God Bless my Beetle all alone somewhere in some garage.
God Bless the uniqueness of vocal talent(or lack thereof) and it's exploitation for my amusement.
Today's Lesson: Buy Uggs that fit snug, don't accept a Focus in place of your Bug, some people's mics should always be unplugged and the next four years are gonna be hell so start doing drugs.
Thank you and goodnight.
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