My Life's Little Mysteries, Part I


1. Why can't I figure out what my incision looks like?
When standing, I have folds of skin from the pregnancy which obscure a clear view of the incision. Plus, there aren't actual stitches, there are steri-tape closures which look an awful lot like long strips of mini packing tape. I've laid down on the bed with a hand mirror to check it out, and still can't tell. Is that a good thing?

2. Where will all this skin on my belly go?
I basically carried a 9 pound being inside me for about a month. My skin is all stretched out, man! My mother says it'll take a few months for it to all shrink back down, but I have my doubts. You've seen those makeover shows where someone's had a stomach stapling and his or her body looks more like a Sharpei's than a human's.

3. Why is my 2 week old capable of feeding** every hour and how are my breasts keeping up?
Over the last two days he's gone from feeding every 3-4 hours to every 1-2 hours and fussing like a maniac otherwise. They say infants don't have a set pattern for the first month... NO SH&@!!

3a. Why is my husband still not really able to fathom the biology behind breastfeeding?
YOU try to explain to him what happens if I miss feedings without pumping or some other kind of release...

4. How is it possible that your washing machine can back up into your toilet?
This is mystery that could easily be solved by our plumber, which leads to the next mystery on our list:

5. Why did the plumber say he was coming this morning and then not show up?
I would not want this person as a member of my family - I'd be worrying where he was all the time. I hope my son has a little more common sense than to tell me he'll "be there" if he can't be.
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**Guy doesn't like it when I refer to my son's eating habits as "feeding". He thinks it makes Spencer sound like an alien.