Here Comes the Sun

My son Spencer is 5 days old today. He was born Monday, May 17 at 8:07am at Lankenau Hospital.

There's so much to say I don't even know where to start.

Let me just try...

I now understand why parents act like idiots.
I understand why they let their kids literally get away with murder and commit other heinous atrocities.

My son is amazing. He's the cutest most handsomest baby I ever saw. At a bathing class at the hospital on Wednesday, one of the other new mothers volunteered her son for the bath. I took one look at him and instantly determined that my son was better looking and much more interesting. I have no idea why. Some insane pride kicked in from I don't know where.

Also, I noticed myself talking to her baby like I talk to mine when he fretted during the demonstration. Also a reflex I cannot recall ever having before. I may even have spoken to my husband that way on the day we returned home.

I am highly emotional and deeply moved by the events of the last week. I am also the walking wounded due to the C-section. Any of you who know me will understand that right now I am as agitated as possible. My job for the next 2-3 weeks is to be a food source and to heal. I am more or less banished to the second floor of my house. Guy takes him outside to sit in the shade, walks him all over the house and is really looking forward to putting him in the Baby Bjorn for adventures. In fact, I've decided to share Guy's perspective for once. Below you'll read an email he sent to both our mothers Friday morning (May 21). I warn you, it's hilarious...

Hi all. In case each of you is wondering who the other email addressee is on this, you are the two grandmoms.

Beth Birch in Maine, you remember my Mom, Bunny Vilim, who is on Long Island.

Since the two of you have been nice enough to send emails and pictures to everyone on your respective sides of the family, I'm going to ask you both to keep doing that if people seem interested in updates.

Yesterday Spencer and Katie came home. Katie was feeling good and completely restless in the hospital - and I do mean REST LESS, ie, lacking in rest, without repose, not able to get any peace or quiet - what a madhouse! Her incision is doing well, so is she, and Spencer passed all his tests with flying colors, so we decided it was hi ho, hi ho, it's home from work we go. He had spent most of the last two nights in the room with her, so we also figured we were ready to take it on - you'd be amazed how care for babies in the hospital has changed - well, let's say I was amazed -- (I mention this because I always assume I know everything and therefore also assume that assume that if I don't know something then no one else can possibly know it either - in reality, of course, I'm sure you both know this already, but I'm still interested, so here goes:) I remembered no kids were allowed to visit new babies and basically, the baby stayed in the nursery and the mother stayed in her room - not anymore!! All visitors are now welcome at all ages and the babies are put in the rooms with the moms as much as possible - which I think is great - really allows the parents to get used to the idea of having him while there is still plenty of support around and it allows the nurses to look at how well the new mother is doing and watch for any signs of trouble in her ability to bond and care for him. AHHHH, Progress!!

The trip home, while hugely important and exciting and terrifying for us (I avoided every little bump in the road for the whole, interminable, nerve wracking 5 minutes of the ride), was uneventful when viewed in the overall scheme of the universe - I suppose I have to admit from an objective point of view that WWII and landing a man on the moon were more impressive accomplishments, but only because they had good PR -- the bastards. We got all set up and made a list of things that we needed, like Katie's pain pills, etc., and off Mack and I went to fetch. Up to that point, of course, Spencer had been a dream, gurgling and smiling and working his little arms and legs and napping. Once I was gone though, a reddish devil light descended into him and he turned into demon baby, crying and peeing and waiting til Mommy had his diaper off to deliver a wet and wicked load of baby sludge all over the bedding she had laid out - I knew something was wrong, even from a distance , when I felt a sharp pain stabbing into my back -- I really have to either get rid of that voodoo doll or at least get her some shorter pins.

By the time I made it back, sweet child o' mine had returned and he instantly fell asleep. He woke later and we took a little tour around the backyard, where I showed him all the red flowers in bloom - we realized from seeing him gaze at the Superman emblem (which is red) on one of Katie's tee shirts that he sees red very well and seems to love it - and he was duly impressed by my gardening prowess. No lie, he said so. He stared at the sky, is completely enthralled by changes in light from dark to bright and stares and stares up when we walk him from one light to the next.

Spencer and I then went down to the kitchen to make dinner while Katie napped and grew "The Breasts that Attacked Tokyo" - to say her milk is IN is ridiculous, I think her milk and all the milk of all the mothers in all the world is in there as well - no lie, she looks like one of the balloons from the Thanksgiving Day parade, so I'm afraid to let her outside in a strong wind, she could crash against a building and get hurt (I don't care what they say, those guys holding the wires on the street are only paid minimum wage and I can't see that their hearts are in their jobs, it's a scandal) - and if that happened, where would I be?

After dinner I had a long chat with Spencer, telling him all about all the B_S_ in life (don't worry, it wasn't all business, I took breaks from the serious stuff to laugh and explain the quantum theory of black holes and the time space multi-dimensional nature of the universe we live in but cannot see or truly experience - he seemed either confused by the last part or maybe he disagreed with the theoretical premise I asserted, since he spat up right about here, but they say Einstein was a little slow at first too), but I reassured him that he was going to be ok, because by the time I get done making up all the nonsense I can think of and feeding it to him as gospel truth, he won't know which end is up anyway, so no matter how upside down or ass backwards George Bush makes the world, it will always seem perfectly normal to him. I consider this my sacred duty as his father. Then he took my finger in his hand and squeezed it rhythmically while looking in my face, as if to say, "Thanks for the advice, Dad," and I thought back, "What a sweetie - already working on the curve ball grip I showed him the day he was born" - it doesn't get any better than that, now, does it? Then we watched the Yankees put a ass-whoopin on the California Angels. By the way, Spencer agrees entirely with the decision to get rid of Cracker Jacks at Yankee Stadium and replace them with Fiddle Faddle, but I can't see it, I'm a traditionalist (I mean, it's IN the Song - "Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks" - Fiddle Faddle doesn't even rhyme). Anyway, I'm trying to make sure this does not cause a permanent rift in our relationship, but he is so stubborn once he gets his back up like this, so I don't know.

After a fitful night, he finally fell asleep around 3 and slept til almost 7, ate, shat, and is now sleeping again. So is Mommy (sleeping, not shitting).

And so it goes. I wonder what adventures we'll have today?

Also, there are pics to look at on my Mac homepage if you haven't already been sent some.

More to come soon, but right now my sleepy baby is lying next to me on the couch and I need to snuggle him before I explode.